Do You Have to be in Pain? What I Want People to Know

When you start a massage saying “I want deep tissue, but I don’t want it to hurt.” That’s a completely reasonable thing to tell me! However, you do not have to be in pain to notice the benefits.  Some people come to Inspire Movements after previous massages where they felt like they had to grit their teeth, hold their breath, or tolerate uncomfortable pressure because they believed that was what therapeutic massage was supposed to feel like. I don’t believe pain is proof that a massage is effective. You can want focused, therapeutic work without wanting to spend your appointment bracing against the table.

Deep Pressure and Pain Are Not the Same Thing

You can enjoy substantial pressure without wanting painful pressure. That’s an important distinction. When someone tells me they like deep pressure, I don’t interpret that as permission to use as much force as possible. I still want feedback.

How does the pressure feel?

Are you able to relax?

Are you starting to tense against what I’m doing?

Does the pressure feel productive to you, or are you simply tolerating it?

Those answers matter. Sometimes, the pressure is too unbearable, that is why we breathe and move through things at Inspire Movements Massage Therapy.

Now, wanting to experience the “hurt so good” sensation is totally normal, we don’t want to surpass the “I’m dying” threshold as you are receiving body work. With ashiatsu massage, you won’t feel as much pin point direct work given how much broader our feet are than our hands. You may or may not notice much of a difference the next day. It is different and varies from person to person.

You Don’t Get Extra Credit for Tolerating More Pressure

Massage isn’t a test of pain tolerance. You don’t have to prove that you can handle deep pressure. If something doesn’t feel right, tell me. If you want less pressure, tell me. If an area is particularly sensitive that day, tell me. If something feels great and you want me to continue working there, that’s useful information too. Communication doesn’t interfere with a therapeutic massage. It helps me provide one. The bottom line goal is to keep you feeling better, pushing enough to get release work done is one thing. Suffering is another, lets make sure we’re in a good spot!

More Pressure Isn’t Automatically More Therapeutic

This is one of the massage myths I’d like more clients to question. If moderate pressure feels appropriate for you, increasing the pressure simply because we can doesn’t automatically make the massage more effective. Your goals matter. The area we’re working on matters. How you’re responding matters. Your preferences matter. What felt good during your last appointment may even feel completely different today. I would rather adjust the session based on what you’re experiencing than chase an arbitrary definition of “deep.”

What If You’re Used to Painful Deep Tissue Massage?

Tell me.

If you’ve had a previous massage experience where the pressure felt excessive, that’s useful information. Tell me what you liked and what you didn’t. Maybe you liked focused therapeutic work but disliked sharp pressure. Maybe you enjoyed deeper pressure through your back but found the same pressure uncomfortable through your legs. Maybe you left your previous massage feeling like you had endured the appointment rather than participated in it. That helps me understand what you’re looking for now. You don’t need to recreate a massage you disliked just because someone called it deep tissue.

This Is One Reason I Use Ashiatsu

Ashiatsu is one of the techniques I use at Inspire Movements Massage Therapy. Instead of relying exclusively on my hands, thumbs, or elbows, Ashiatsu allows me to use my feet to provide broad, controlled pressure while using overhead bars for balance and control. One reason I appreciate Ashiatsu is the ability to deliver broader pressure. For someone who enjoys substantial pressure but doesn’t necessarily enjoy highly concentrated pressure from an elbow or thumb, that can create a very different massage experience. That doesn’t mean Ashiatsu needs to be extremely deep. Pressure can still be adjusted. Ashiatsu isn’t about seeing how much pressure you can tolerate. It’s another tool I can use to adapt the massage to the person on the table.

What Does “Good Pressure” Feel Like?

There isn’t one sensation everyone should experience. Some clients describe good therapeutic pressure as intense but comfortable. Others prefer moderate pressure that allows them to completely relax. Some want different amounts of pressure in different areas.

That’s normal.

I pay attention to what you’re telling me, but I also want you to speak up rather than assuming I know exactly what you’re feeling. I’m the massage therapist.

You’re the only person who can actually feel what’s happening in your body during the session. We need both pieces of information.

Should You Be Sore After a Deep Massage?

Temporary soreness can occur after massage, particularly after more intensive manual therapy. But soreness is not the goal of your appointment. I don’t want you evaluating the quality of your massage the next morning based on how sore you are. More soreness doesn’t automatically mean more progress. If you consistently leave massages feeling excessively sore or uncomfortable, that’s worth discussing with your massage therapist. Your response to one session can help guide decisions about the next one.

What If You Want Me to Go Deeper?

Tell me that too. This conversation works both ways. I’m not suggesting deep pressure is bad. Many of my clients enjoy deeper therapeutic pressure.

If you feel like I can comfortably use more pressure, let me know. We can adjust.

I just had a massage where the client shared that she liked the release work on her upper shoulders, but it took too long to recover with the technique I was using.

So, I changed how I delivered the massage and she’s recovering much easier with less pressure, just applying different to the technique, while still receiving ashaitsu massage.

Communication is the bottom line. This is your session, if something isn’t working out for you, please talk to me! Let’s make this work. The difference is that we’re making that decision based on your response rather than assuming deeper must always be better.

Your Massage Doesn’t Have to Match Someone Else’s

Maybe your friend loves extremely deep massage. Maybe your spouse barely wants any pressure. Maybe someone online insists that massage needs to hurt before it works. None of those people are on the table with you. Your massage should reflect your preferences, goals, health history, and what you’re experiencing that day. There isn’t a prize for receiving the deepest massage in Colorado Springs. There is only the question of whether the massage you’re receiving makes sense for you.

What I Want You to Say During Your Massage

You don’t need special terminology.

You can simply say:

“That’s a little too much.”

“Can you back off there?”

“That pressure feels good.”

“Can you go a little deeper?”

“That area is more sensitive than I expected.”

“This area doesn’t respond well on this side, but it is fine on the other. How can we change this going forward?”

“I don’t like how that feels.”

Those are useful conversations. You aren’t being difficult. You aren’t insulting me. You’re giving me information I need to adjust your massage.

When Pain Shouldn’t Simply Be Worked Through

There is also a difference between muscular tenderness during massage and symptoms that deserve additional attention. If you’re experiencing significant or worsening pain, unexplained weakness or numbness, neurological symptoms, symptoms following a significant injury, or another concerning change, don’t assume the solution is simply more pressure. Massage therapists work within a defined scope of practice.  There are situations where appropriate medical evaluation should come before trying to massage through a problem.

Therapeutic Doesn’t Have to Mean Miserable

This is what I ultimately want people to understand. I can take your goals seriously without trying to make your massage hurt. We can use focused techniques. We can use deeper pressure when appropriate. We can adjust throughout the appointment how pressure is applied. None of that requires you to lie on the table silently waiting for something painful to end. A therapeutic massage should be a conversation between what I’m doing and what you’re experiencing.

Therapeutic Massage in Colorado Springs

If you’ve avoided booking a massage because your previous experience with deep tissue was too painful, you don’t have to assume every therapeutic massage will feel the same way. At Inspire Movements Massage Therapy, communication and individual preferences are part of the session. Tell me what you’ve experienced before. Tell me what you liked. Tell me what you didn’t during the session. I can’t change it when we’re done, but, lets talk throughout! Tell me what you’re hoping will be different this time. Then we can build the session from there.

About Jessica Deardorff, LMT

Jessica Deardorff is the owner of Inspire Movements Massage Therapy in Colorado Springs, Colorado. She has practiced massage therapy since 2016 and holds an active Colorado massage therapist license, MT.0021143.

Her areas of focus include low back pain, sciatica support, headaches and migraines, mobility-focused massage, therapeutic Ashiatsu, and cupping therapy.

Jessica’s approach emphasizes individualized therapeutic massage, communication, and adapting each session around the person receiving it.

Educational disclaimer: This article provides general educational information and is not medical advice or a diagnosis. Massage therapy does not replace appropriate medical evaluation or treatment.